Off The Grid

Living off the Grid on a west coast island

In their gardens

10 Comments

Ok, so a warning, that although this post is mostly Christmas related, it gets a little blue, Rated A for Adult and kind of rude.. So if you are easily offended.. Off you go….. See you next time..

If there is anyone left.. I shall carry on…

We have no stores on this island and Christmas shopping is difficult. The agreement with our kids this Christmas was that we wouldn’t buy presents but would endeavour to somehow get together somehow, somewhere in between our other obligations.. (My daughter has to work )… We would however, continue our tradition of stockings.  Each of us puts one thing in each other’s stocking… It takes the load off Santas back…. We will open them on Boxing Day when we are all together. 

My 95 year old mother did not agree to the aforementioned plan. When she told me quite proudly this morning that she had done all of her Christmas shopping on line yesterday I said … “But, I thought we weren’t doing gifts this year”.. She wasn’t in the room for that discussion apparently and told me in no uncertain terms.. No family of hers is coming into the house without getting a little something from her… Sigh… So I joined Amazon.prime for their free thirty day trial and began my Christmas shopping this morning. It comes with free shipping and I can cancel at anytime.. Ie. tomorrow

I have absolutely no idea what to get my mother so began Christmas 2016 by browsing the Amazon on line guide. Mom  apparently, has quit drinking Sherry so I thought I would look at her next favorite thing, ginger chocolate.. They had 15 pounds of ginger chocolate pretzels for 115.00!!…  Yowser.. I don’t think she could eat 115.00 dollars worth of chocolate covered pretzels if she lived two more lifetimes.. 

I decided to switch my efforts to stocking stuffers.. Thought maybe I would get an idea for the kids or E….This is how my search went… Searching…. Stocking Stuffers… Sort by:  Lowest to Highest..

Scrolled past the Donald Trump toilet paper and the three item package of dog chew toys for only 87.00 to right below the pink balaclava ski mask.. There was and here we go kids.. Hide your eyes.. 

Hot selling reusable condom stimulation penis sleeve penis extension dick cock rings vibrating dildo penis ring sex toy sex products for men … 23.95… And this is where it gets wierd… I shit you not … it says.

See patio, lawn and garden for more information and items like this

I have had to quit my Christmas shopping and spend some serious time wondering just what the heck other people are doing on their patios,on their lawns and 

in their gardens..

Author: Off Grid Islanders

We are a retired couple living on an off grid island on the West Coast

10 thoughts on “In their gardens

  1. I knew those damn drones were watching us!
    Suggestion for mom: in-house catering, maid service or maybe a ‘shopping delivery service’. Now…what about those extension rings that vibrate….?

  2. Hysterical!!!

  3. 😳

  4. Too funny! So which item did you order?!😉

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  5. hahaha! i love your writing so much! And, apparently, husband and I are not utilizing our big patio the way we should be … 😛

  6. you may have missed the CBS program today insisting that our public Parks HAVE to start planning for areas where sex can be practiced….sorry no further details. I was driving.
    Patty

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