I had time to think  as I lay awake at 2:30 this morning regretting my earlier chocolate snack when I watched The Good Wife.. Lots of time. I gave thought to what decisions in my life had brought me to this moment, living on this island, in bed with this man. The sound of snoring from our oldest dog competed with the sounds of the sea lions in the cut outside my window. My legs pinned underneath our younger dog prevented me from going to the washroom, or looking out the window…. 3:30 am more time to think…. What if I hadn’t joined that particular soccer team in 1980 but played mixed softball instead… Would I be living with a taxidermist in Fort Nelson??? Or was it that in this life no matter what sport I had played  or where I grew up I would still have found E and ended up on this island?

Mike Douglas told the story of Orsen Wells. Mr Wells, a frequent guest on his talk show traditionally would require Douglas to stay on topic of Wells latest promotion and forbid personal questions. One day Wells arrived and said to Douglas.. ask me anything today..  They talked about his personal life, all of it, as if an open book in what would be the final interview.. Orsen Wells died unexpectedly a few hours later.

I remembered that anecdote at 2:30 this morning and I decided to refocus my thoughts on the future and what I needed to do today in the garden with my seedlings. April coming up…. time to put some carrots in the ground.. Philosophical ramblings at 230 in the morning are of no use.. Lord knows my destiny was not meant for the history books. Won’t cure cancer, solve world hunger or bring peace to the Baltics. My opinions and thoughts on those matters are best kept silent.. My destiny it seems was to live in peace here with E and two dogs. To try to grow a few vegetables in a corner of an island. To create a secret garden of flowering shrubs….

4:30 am.. it hit me.. April.. April 1st this week.. I have another island newsletter to publish on May 1st.. Submission deadline is April 15th.. I haven’t started the newsletter.. I haven’t looked at it.. Haven’t written a word… I have to get on it.Contact the printer. List the potential articles.. Plan the layout… I remembered E is going to town today and there was nothing else urgent I needed to do. I do like putting together the island newsletter. I just didn’t realize it was time again. I realized I can spend the whole day planning the spring issue. ……and then I

finally fell asleep